Saturday, April 24, 2010

The SEX Question....


The Taboo Top(eek)

Nah...nothing is really taboo in Jeny's Closet. Except for politics.

So, yes todays top(eek) is SEX.

The Sex Question…..

Should you delay having sex with the new guy you've been seeing? Will it help or hurt your chances of building a serious relationship? How long should you make him suffer? Sex is an important component of any romantic relationship, and when you start doing it can determine whether the relationship works or not. There are lots of consequences to sleeping with a man you just met, especially if you like him on an emotional level and hope to make him a permanent fixture in your life. Here are a few suggestions on how long you should delay having sex with a man.

In recent decades, casual sex has become more common than not, which takes much of the moral debate out of your decision to delay having sex with a guy you aren't married to. Women are embracing their sexuality, and having multiple partners is not the big deal it used to be either. However, these are not excuses to knocking around in bed with every guy you meet. Unless you're merely out to have a good time with no strings attached, you should exercise a little restraint when choosing which guys you want to sleep with and when to allow them the liberty of getting you between the sheets.

Here is one very important reason to hold off on beginning a sexual relationship with a man. Some men are only out there for a quick lay, while others are good guys who just aren't ready to settle down. Making a guy wait for sex will weed out the ones that aren't looking for the same things you are. It will also allow the non-sexual aspects of your relationship to develop more fully and help you decide if it is worth pursuing.

These are just a few considerations you'll want to consider when deciding whether or not to sleep with a man right away. Sex can be fun, after all, and no one wants to miss out on something so great. Just remember that when you delay having sex, you increase your chances of having a loving, fulfilling romance with a worthy man.

Apparently, these are the perennial questions about sex especially for women: “if we have sex, will he call,” and for men, “when will she be ready.” When a little suspicious of such glib formulations, just nod to the spirit of the clichés. Sex is messy and complex, and never more so than when it is with a new person. It is important, very important, to have sex at just the right time in a relationship.


Do it for you
Have sex because you want to, not because you feel pressured or think the other person will disappear if you don't. A person like that is not looking for a serious relationship in the first place and you are just another receptacle for him/her. Do it when it feels right and do it for you.

Better late and more
Whether you are a man or a woman, it is always better to get physical later, rather than sooner in a relationship. Why? Because you will get to know the other person better and be in a better position to decide if you really do want to sleep with him or her. Margaret Paul, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? says, “[People try] to get the intimate connection through sex, but great sex is an outgrowth of intimacy, not a cause of it. ... Physical attraction is never enough to see people through the inevitable conflicts that come up in primary relationships.”

Focus on the relationship
As important and fun as sex is, if it is a relationship you want, then pay attention to nurturing that. Get to know the other person better and let them know things about you. If you ask yourself, “Do I trust this person?” you should be able to say, “Yes” with no doubts. This is the way to feel more comfortable around him or her, and that is a prerequisite for good sex. The physical attraction will only become stronger and more deeply grounded.

Is what you have enough?
Look at how much physical closeness you already have. Do you hold hands? Do you have trouble keeping your hands off each other? Is there a spark between you? When you kiss, do you want more? What does the person's kissing style suggest to you about their bedroom style? What do you have besides chemistry? In the answers to these questions, you will find if it is the right time, or even if it is actually what you want.

Get the time right, literally
Whether it is spontaneous or planned, make sure your first time together is relaxed and private. You don't have to have scented candles and satin sheets, but the backseat of the car in a carpark might not be the best place. Always be responsible; use a condom.

Be prepared for after
If you do have sex, there will be an after – whether the morning after or the munchies after. Treat what happened with respect, but not absurd devotion or gratitude. Conversation will ease any tension that either of you may feel. You can even make a few jokes, just nothing that your partner might construe as meanness. Just so you know, the first time may be lousy or amazing, but it isn't always an indicator of things to come. Sometimes people stop trying to impress their partner and become selfish and other times, greater understanding and emotional closeness makes for quantum leaps in the quality of sex.

In this time and age of instant gratification, sex has become an important parameter to judge relationships, but make sure this does not pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.



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Monday, April 19, 2010

Latest (Peeks) from Jeny's Closet


Jeny’s Closet latest Collections

**I reckon we might need to get a bigger closet soon to store all the new dresses we’ve been (peeking) lately plus with all the secrets Jeny has been hiding? Jeny’s Closet can never be big enough.**

Jeny’s Closet latest collection is here so babes take your (peek). The range is as exotic as it is beautiful and it ranges from work wear to club wear to beach wear. I love the range of dresses and how versatile it is. You can wear the short dresses on its own (if you have the legs for it, flaunt it) or pair it with a nice pair of jeans or pants (Think booty). No dress is too short or too long and it fits and flatters like all body types and I mean we even have plus size.

The dress above is my top (peek) of the lot. I think it’s a great date dress and if you are up for it bring it to a beach even (Stars, anyone?). It doesn’t really show a lot of skin so it is subtlely sexy yet sweet. It will also give him a reason to put his arms around you if you ever get cold *wink. So please, if any of you happen to get this dress for that special date do take a picture and send them to me cos I would love to see it!

And after that, you can tell me about that date too...




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Thursday, April 15, 2010

From Friend to Girlfriend...Tried and Tested Methods


Another (Peek) from Jeny's Closet.

Friend to Girlfriend...Ways and Steps...

I am particularly dear to male friends who always struggle to get the girl they want. Especially when the girls told them that they only see them as FRIENDS.

So here I explore some ways (tried and tested) I have used many times in guiding my dear male friends to finally get their girl and which I know has worked so well for many of them.

The fine line between a girl friend and a girlfriend lies in sexual attraction and flirting. If you haven't done some things to cause them to think sexual feelings about you, then most likely you will remain as their friend. Then again, do not come out of the blue and tell her you love her. That might make her feel as if you are too committed to her too soon.

It is not uncommon to find yourself in a situation where you like a girl as more than a friend, but what happens if she just likes you as a friend. You guys hang out, had a good time, she’s comfortable with you and she likes you. As a friend. No more no less. Bummer.

In some cases there is nothing you can do about this; however, if you can sow the seeds of erotic thought, without actually taking drastic or direct action, you may well find her becoming more attracted to you.

Guys, here’s how….


Don’t be Mr Nice Guy.
The problem often lies in being nice, as many people are. This will give an impression that you are a great friend, but not a great lover. So you really need to flirt more. And if you don't think you are any good at flirting -- don't worry! Flirting is, and should be, playful and fun. Don’t play Friend play Flirt.

Joke around, be more playful, spend more time looking into their eyes or glancing at them "cutely" or "suggestively". If she gets creeped out by it, make a joke out of it, but make sure you're not coming across as a weirdo. It is ok if she gets a little uncomfortable because she caught you staring at her. That quick stolen glances you use to do when you check out a girl is fine. Keep doing that, she will get the idea eventually. You want to show her you like her more than a friend subtlely. Just don’t get psycho and overdo it.

Make physical contact 3 times every time you meet up with her. Each time you do, it should be about 2-3 seconds, somewhere like their hand, shoulder, or anywhere that's not too uncomfortable. You want to establish contact so she can get comfortable if she ever get ‘contacted’ by you. Get it?

Don't spend too much time around her. Don’t be eager beaver. Ever wonder why bad boys gets all the chicks? Because they let the chicks come to them. You MUST let her come to you. Spend lots of time, and then none for a while, then more again, and flirt while you are there. While you are gone, she is given a chance to think about you, which hopefully she will.

Take care of your appearance. Make sure you look good and don't smell bad. I don’t need to tell you why.

Be a friend to her when she is happy NOT sad. Why? This helps her to associate happiness with you. If you are successful in making her your girlfriend, that's when it becomes important to support her when she needs it. Remember, you are not her bitch. You don’t want to be the guy she came running to when she is sad and lonely and then runs off to some other dude when she’s all fine and dandy. She has girlfriends to do that for her. YOU want to be THE GUY not the other guy. Again, stop being Mr Nice Guy. Don’t be a doormat.

Tell her! The thing is to be flirtatious, and let things happen naturally. You are the Man, so be a Man…when you feel ready tell her! She needs to know. Tell her you want her...trust me a girl who feels most wanted and most desired will surrender to the guy who makes her feel that way the most.

Most important, get your mind out of the Friend zone. As long as you see yourself as a friend that is how she sees you.



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How to get Bruce Lee's body without the Gym


Jeny's Icon (Peek) of the Day. Look what comes out of the closet.

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

I know writing about Bruce Lee may be a little inappropriate for Jeny's Closet. But I have always admired him for his determination & drive in attaining his short lived success that people talked about in many years to come. Check out his book "Bruce Lee - The Art of Expressing the Human Body". That dude has Fitness issues. Besides, babes if you only do only 5% of what Bruce Lee did...that "made for sinning" body may just be a reality. And oh, check out dresses from Jeny's Closet if you have no clue how to get the guys to uhmmm...notice you and start sinning. (Tongue in Cheek)

And dudes, I am talking about you guys too. (If any of you are kind enough to read this.)

Bruce Lee was a paragon of cool and an icon of the ultimate bad-ass. Not only were his martial arts skills incredible, but he had such an impressive physique that even bodybuilders in the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger admired him.

What’s more impressive is that Bruce trained his body without ever stepping into a gym and with very little use of weights or machines.
Here are just a few of Lee’s physical feats:
• Performed one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger.
• Could hold an elevated v-sit position for 30 minutes or longer.
• Could throw grains of rice up into the air and then catch them in mid-flight using chopsticks.
• Could break wooden boards 6 inches (15 cm) thick.
• Performed 50 reps of one-arm chin-ups.

While you may not get to Bruce Lee’s level overnight, you can start getting in shape without the use of a lot of fancy (and expensive) equipment. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, in a space as large as a bathroom.

You don’t have to buy lots of weights or machines, either. The most expensive equipment you’ll need (a simple doorway pull-up bar) will cost no more than $70.00.
Bruce Lee was a big proponent of holistic or total fitness. His workouts included strength, speed, endurance, and flexibility training.

Here’s just a few of the ways you can start getting stronger, faster and more toned without ever stepping into a gym:

1. Calisthenics. There are so many different bodyweight exercises out there, but we’ll start with the basics. For the lower body: lunges and squats are a good start. For upper body: pull-ups, push-ups, and shoulder press ups. For your core: crunches, chops, and reverse crunches will get you going. What’s great about bodyweight exercises is that they build functional strength. They’re natural movements you would use in real life situations like sports, self-defense, gardening, or doing chores. Plus when you do bodyweight exercises, you force your body to use more supporting and balancing muscles than you would on machines.

2. Isometric exercises. These are basic bodyweight exercises, but where you hold your body in a static position. Examples of these are the frog sit, v-sit, horse stance, hanging from a pull-up bar, and the plank. Calisthenic exercises will improve muscle strength over a range of motion, but isometric exercises are great for joint and stabilizing strength.

3. Range of motion and flexibility. The best exercise I’ve found for range of motion and flexibility is yoga. The best thing about yoga is that no equipment is required and you can find tons of free resources online for yoga routines.

4. Balance. Balance is the ability to keep your equilibrium when your center of gravity is thrown off-balance. There are many ways you can practice balance every day (we won’t get into tight rope walking here). When you’re putting on your shoes or getting dressed, do it on one foot. Walk on the curb and try to walk in a straight line without stumbling.

5. Dynamic exercise. Dynamic exercise is anything where you’re not performing routine after routine. Things are in flux and constantly changing. You’re moving in more natural movements, rather than continuous repetition of fixed patterns. Do whatever you’re naturally drawn to, I like dancing...and running…and rollerblading…and sport climbing…and swimming (you get the idea?) I like most activities that is fun to do and do serious kick to my butt. Or if you struggle with seeing fitness as an enjoyable activity, you might consider getting a Wii Fit.

There’s a lot of other opportunities for exercise that don’t include a gym that I haven’t listed here. Hiking, jogging, skiing, sprintwork… The list could go on. Just use your imagination. Make it fun and change it up. That’s the great thing about exercising without a gym, there’s so much to choose from.

On a side note, I will, however, say that for me, it took a lot more discipline to work out from home. It was easy for me to just go to the gym. Once I’m there, there’s not a lot else I can do other than work out. But at home, there’s always distraction, always other things you can do besides working out (like laying on the couch or surfing the internet). While you might not have this problem, I thought it only fair to be upfront about this issue.

The other motivator for me to work out from home — besides saving money — was the variety of workouts. There’s just so many more options with bodyweight exercises than machines. You can always do something to further challenge yourself. If push-ups are a breeze, you can try doing them on your fingers or in a close grip (with a medicine ball). If pull-ups become too easy, train for a one arm pull-up (insanely difficult).

Attaining Bruce Lee like fitness isn’t just about doing the types workouts he did and eating the same diet. What made Bruce so great was his natural curiosity and drive to constantly explore and learn more about fitness and personal growth. (His personal library contained over 2,000 books!)

Tap into your own curiosity and make fitness enjoyable. Challenge yourself to new levels of fitness. Go beyond what you think you can do.

“If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” – Bruce Lee



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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Can Friends Become Lovers?


What is Jeny hiding in her closet this time? Today's To(Peek)

Should Friends Become Lovers?

Long before the days of “When Harry Met Sally,” experts, scholars, and common folks engaged in dialogue and debate over whether men and women could be “just friends”.

And, in a similar vein, many have questioned whether it is ever really wise to cross the line, and go from friend to lover.

This topic is particularly dear to my heart, in that I am going through it right now so from time to time I do occasionally have to cross that line between deciding for Friendship or Relationship.

Because I greatly value their role in my life, I’ve pretty much always stuck to a “no fraternization rule”. If we started out as friends, that’s how we’d stay to the end. True Blue!

One reason for this “policy” is that a failed relationship might ruin a future friendship. Once you cross the line, can you ever go back? I didn’t want to take the risk. But now, with more experience and perspective under my belt, my position has been slightly altered.

Should friends become lovers? Well, it depends…on the people and the circumstances involved.

I’ve come to the conclusion that a lover should in fact be “a friend”. Ideally,your best friend. That someone whom you can share your biggest secrets and fears. Someone with whom there is ultimate trust.

I believe that it’s the basis and the root of most quality, lasting relationships.

But going from friend to lover can be tricky: PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Some time ago, I decided to make an exception to my long held rule, and dated a guy who had been my dear friend for many, many years.
What made me take the gamble? We had similar interests and goals, mutual respect, a long history, and I thought he was a really smart, special guy. In some ways, I still do. (And did I mention that he does serious justice to a pair of jeans?!)


On the Plus Side…

We had incredible, incredible chemistry. I still blush today at the thought of it. We never argued, and there was a comfortability that only comes with knowing someone the way we did.

On the Minus Side…
I discovered that you never “really” know someone until you’re involved on a day to day level. Much to my surprise, he could be uncompromising and stubborn. And so could I. So, at times we were at a stalemate, with neither of us truly winning. I wanted what I felt I wasn’t getting. He wanted me to require less of him.
After the relationship ended, there was a period of months that were particularly awkward. Like a “relationship purgatory”, if you will.
We were now more than friends, but less than lovers. Not to mention, in years before, I had always been able to rely upon him for moral support, cheerleading, his lightness of spirit, and sound advice.

Should I call? Would he want to hear from me? Should I wait for him to call? Would the chemistry get in the way? It was deep waters to navigate.

But he did call. And we took up where we left off. Nobody knows what the future holds, but I expect we’ll always (minimally) be friends, and that our lives will be richer for it.

Would I ever break “my rule” and date a friend again? With the right man and the right circumstances… with record breaking speed!

Here's What You Should Consider Before Taking the Plunge:

» Do you have compatible personalities and lifestyles? For instance, if he/she "likes to party like it's 1999" and you're a homebody, it may not last.

» Are you willing to compromise? All the chemistry in the world won't work if the two of you are not committed to working at the relationship and making the other person happy. Then again, must must must have chemistry. Can you imagine making out with him without breaking into giggles or just the thought of the two of you makes you go Ewwww…

» Can he/she be trusted?

» Are your expectations realistic? Don't expect to make any "make or break" decisions in 30 days or less. Relationships have "learning curves" just like jobs. Give it a little time.

» Are the two of you mature enough to handle a breakup? In other words, if things don't pan out, can you refrain from being bitter and putting the other person's "dirty laundry" out in the streets?

» Are there more potential rewards than risks?

In life and in love remember to keep your head... and follow your heart!



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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Today's TO(Peek) - The Lost Art of Solitude


“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.” ~Henry David Thoreau

You don’t need to be a monk to find solitude, nor do you need to be a hermit to enjoy it.

Solitude is a lost art in these days of ultra-connectedness, and while I don’t bemoan the beauty of this global community, I do think there’s a need to step back from it on a regular basis.

Some of my favorite activities include sitting in front of the ocean, still, contemplating … walking, alone with my thoughts … disconnecting and just writing … finding quiet with a good novel … taking a solitary bath.

Don’t get me wrong: I love being with loved ones, and walking with a friend or watching the sunset with someone or reading a book are also among my absolute favorite things in the world.

But solitude, in these days as much as ever, is an absolute necessity.

The Benefits of Solitude

The best art is created in solitude, for good reason: it’s only when we are alone that we can reach into ourselves and find truth, beauty, soul. Some of the most famous philosophers took daily walks, and it was on these walks that they found their deepest thoughts.

The best of anything I’ve done, was created in solitude.

Just a few of the benefits I’ve found from solitude:

* time for thought
* in being alone, we get to know ourselves
* we face our demons, and deal with them
* space to create
* space to unwind, and find peace
* time to reflect on what we’ve done, and learn from it
* isolation from the influences of other helps us to find our own voice
* quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar

There are many more benefits, but that’s to get you started. The real benefits of solitude cannot be expressed through words, but must be found in doing.
How to Find Solitude

You start by disconnecting.

Take every means of connecting with others, and sever them. Disconnect from email, from Facebook and Twitter and MySpace, from forums and social media, from instant messaging and Skype, from news websites and blogs. Turn off your mobile device and phones.

Turn off the computer … unless you’re going to use the computer to create, in which case, shut off the Internet, close your browser, and shut down every other program used to connect with others.

The next steps depend on which of two strategies you use:

1. Holing yourself up. This can be done in your office, by shutting the door and/or using headphones and the calming music of your choice. If possible, let coworkers know you can’t be disturbed during a certain block of your day. Or it can be done at home, by finding a quiet space, shutting the door if you can, or using headphones. The key is to find a way to shut out the outside world, including co-workers or those who live with you.

2. Getting away.Get out the door, and enjoy the outdoors. Take a walk, find a park or a beach or a mountain, find a quiet coffee shop, find a shady spot to rest. People watch, or nature watch.

Other tips:

* Try taking a quiet, relaxing bath from time to time.
* Curl up with a good novel.
* If you’re married with kids, ask your spouse to give you some time off to be alone, and then return the favor. Make it a regular swap.
* Take a walk every day.
* Get into work earlier, and work in quiet.
* Have a nice cup of tea.
* Pray.
* Try a regular time each day when you’re disconnected.


“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” ~Albert Einstein



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Monday, April 5, 2010

How to be a positive person in under 300 words


‘Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune.’ ~Walt Whitman

I’m a pretty positive person — I consider it one of the keys to the modest success I’ve had in creating new habits and achieving things in the last few years.

Positive thinking, as trite as it seems, has changed my life.

I’m not going to sell you on it, but if you’re interested, here’s the condensed guide to changing your own life:

Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself why you can’t.
Become aware of your self-talk.
Squash negative thoughts like a bug.
Replace them with positive thoughts.
Love what you have already.
Be grateful for your life, your gifts, and other people, Every day.
Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
Don’t compare yourself to others but be inspired by them.
Accept criticism with grace but ignore the naysayers.
See bad things as a blessing in disguise.
See failure as a stepping stone to success.
Surround yourself by those who are positive.
Complain less, smile more.
Imagine that you’re already positive then become that person in your next act.

Focus on this habit first, and you’ll have a much easier time with any other.

‘A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.’ ~Herm Albright



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